My Stupid Conscience (revised)

If only I could just go up to him and tell him how I feel. But no, my stupid conscience always gets in the way. Like in the back of my mind I can always hear 'what if he thinks this about me if I just go up to him and tell him. But everyday I will get this little burst of energy and I tell myself I can do this!! But then at the last minute I back out. Stupid conscience... If only my conscience would quit whispering negative things in my ear about what he is thinking. I don't know what he is thinking about me, I am not a mind reader, and it doesn't hurt to try. I mean everybody gets rejected right? Well today I decided I am just going to ignore my conscience and go for it. I am not going to think one negative thing about what he is thinking about me. Well sometimes things don't go as planned... I saw him walking with his friends to lunch. When I was walking up to him I yelled out his name "George!" he turned around and smiled at me, that smile that made my knees week everytime I saw him "Hey, how are you?" I smiled and told him I was doing okay. We talked for a little bit when I just blurted out "I like you alot George and I was hoping that maybe you like me to?" It was then that I decided that it was not a good thing that I said that. I mean after all we were in the hallway with all the students walking around us trying to get to class. After I opened my big mouth everyone stopped and turned. It was so quite you could hear a pen drop. Everybody's mouth was open like a fish out of water. It was like it was odd for me to like this guy. People just turned back and started to snicker and point at me... Well there is the first sign that something is not good! He had this look on his face. I couldn't tell if it was sorrow or something else. When he spoke was when the bomb dropped "I like you alot too." I smiled at him. Until he opened his mouth again "But I have a girlfriend." My smile fell. Well I thought to myself if he likes me alot then why is he with another girl?! I was so confused. Then everybody in the hall turned and looked at me like they new what my issue was. Well they didn't! So why wouldn't they stop staring at me? It was starting to make me nervous. I saw George from the corner of my eye walking out to his car, WITH his girlfriend! Oh how I hate her! I thought my life would be over right after that moment. but no I saw my friends coming over with their hands over their mouths, trying to hold in their laughs. My friend patted me on my back and said "There are plenty of other guys out there for you!" she turned towards me and said "But seeing you get rejected was hilarious!" My mouth dropped after I heard her say that. " I turned towards her "Thanks alot to you, my life is over! Maybe if you told me that he had a girlfriend then I wouldn't be having this issue! BUT Noo you had to get your kicks and giggles out of me telling him that I like him when he had a girlfriend that I despise now! You could have told! I think I am going to have to transfer schools! Everyone heard me! It's going to be the laugh of the month! Maybe even the year! I am so hating you right now!" I told her then I stalked off to go find my other friends. Today I guess is just not my day! I failed the History test, got rejected in front of half of the school, and now I have to go home to my parents and explain to them why I failed. Today is just NOT my day!